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God vs
Satan
by Author unknown
And God filled the earth with broccoli and cauliflower
and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
99-cent-double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries
with that?" And Man said, "Super size them!" And Man
gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought
forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And God said,
"I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which
to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big
it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds - and his bad LDL
cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat-fried them. He also
created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery
And Satan created HMOs.
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